eight months
On Hope
I. Repentance
A. Pride
I’m
Like an earthworm that got caught on the sidewalk strung out like a rope
on a fine sunny day
Struggling and striving to make way
From earth to earth
Mire to mire
As if crossing the pavement
Was parting the Red Sea
Or dying on a tree
As if it would set the captives free
Restore the streets to dwell in
As if my struggle could prove the fact
That I will never fallback
To my inner sin nature, that inner tooth plaque
As if my traveling of that concrete mixed track
Would bring the one and only Creator back
B. Narcissism
I’ve put all my eggs
in one casket
with a tisket a tasket
meaningless rhymes
a black and greasy gasket
to seal up all the times I said things to try and make you feel better
warm you like that knitted sweater that you swiped from that dresser
made of thin plastic film and cheap metal bars I kept around
And I’ve hoped upon
hop
hopped up on
dopamine rushes
of hello, hellos
bops on my nose
you stealing my clothes
and boho carpet debuts
neon signs above pews
and the inability to identify whose flesh is whose
to cope with the shots fired down my throat
by a sniper’s rifle and scope
C. Hurry
an old wineskin heart doesn’t stretch
And new wine wretches at these worn out
Sketches
False images drawn out by the hand of the king of the air
And the king of my house
And I try to dress it up
With fake jewelry and baubles
And try to stay calm and not get into squabbles
And walk with a hobble and a broken leg wobble
And cobble up results
To coddle my pain
Drown it in old merlots so I don’t feel low
Drown it with rosé and Chardonnay to not remember the day
where my father left
Where I wasn’t ok
Drown it with white wines
to make white vines
to make dollar signs
to forget storylines
Where I’m inferior in my own mind
Because of white dividing lines
I’m on some production line
Pressing grapes of wrath
And mice and men
Into my very own Zinfandel
So that I can tell
My Dorian gray
To go away
II. Revival
A: Lament, Confess, Resist, Repeat
This is what the Sovereign Lord,
the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and
rest
is your salvation,
in quietness and trust
is your strength,
but I would have none of it. I said,
‘No, I will flee on horses.’
Therefore I will flee!
Have mercy on me,
O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
B. Revival
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to me;
therefore He will rise up to show me compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!
People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, I will weep no more.
How gracious He will be when I cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer me.
I need Him
He is the essence of perfection
Revival does not require knowledge
It requires death, power and resurrection
Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the convictions of things unseen
Marriage is the achieving of freedom
from your coping mechanisms
and false syllogisms
liberated from our shackles
by the one who sets free
I was blind but now I see
I was lame and now I walk
I was deaf and now I hear
Then I heard
what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude,
like the roar of many waters
and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder,
crying out,
“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure”—
for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
And the angel said to me,
“Write this:
Blessed are those who are invited
to the marriage supper of the Lamb.”
And he said to me,
“These are the true words of God.”
